The foundation of my work on my blog and podcast has been about intensity, and it's origins came from my work on excitability, also known as over excitability. Excitability is when you receive and respond the world more intensely than others. 

In this episode:

• Excitability as a sign of high developmental potential
• The 5 areas of excitability
• Using your strengths

Links:

Free workbook on Harnessing the Power of Your Intensity!

Embracing Intensity Community

Today’s show is with yet another intriguing person I met on TikTok. I’m especially interested in her experience with twice-exceptionality and the work she’s doing in TV.

Shadi Petosky is an Emmy winner and Wendy’s Employee of the Month-winning TV showrunner. She co-created and showran the Emmy-winning Danger and Eggs for Amazon Prime Video, which was also a Critics Choice and GLAAD nomination. She executive produced Twelve Forever for Netflix and the upcoming live- action, gender-bending sci-fi series Forever Alone with Adaptive Studios. She most recently directed the live-action comedy pilot, Let’s Go Atsuko for Quibi, and her show, Pretty Cursed, is in development at Circle of Confusion TV. She was the animation supervisor for all 72 episodes of the hit show Yo Gabba Gabba.

Show Highlights:

• Why Shadi is intensely passionate about making stuff like comics, art, games, designs, visual effects, and TV writing
• Why Shadi’s personal brand of intensity is “clownish with a Willy Wonka vibe”
• How Shadi grew up living a series of ADHD cliches, being a daydreamer and a nerd later in high school who loved theater and clubs
• In school, Shadi was bullied a lot and involved in many fights; she stayed in trouble, was an extrovert, and says she was never anyone’s favorite person
• Cultural factors that affected Shadi include growing up in rural Montana and then a military kid who lived an isolated and classless existence in remote areas
• Why Shadi’s childhood affected what she thought was possible in pursuing dreams
• How Shadi didn’t have to tone down or tune herself out as a kid, but has had to learn as an adult to handle conflict, deal with people, and tackle her intense irritability
• How Shadi has handled her executive functioning issues in managing other people
• How Shadi uses her fire for good in making TV shows with queer kids and doing fulfilling work that matters, especially when it comes to justice sensitivity
• What Shadi has noticed about the evolution of TV shows in the representation of trans folks and other marginalized groups
• How Shadi’s creativity was affected by the pandemic and quarantine
• How Shadi harnesses the power of her intensity by making lists, going to therapy, DBT, and new medications; she has also tried to cut down on stressful jobs and prioritize leisure time
• How Shadi helps others use their fire by helping young writers, teaching, and working with kids
• Why it’s tough to be vulnerable online

I once again had other plans for this episode but I realized I've hit survival mode for the school year. Every year since 8th grade, I've had what I called Spring Fever when I'd crash at the end of the school year. I've come to realize that it's the fatigue that comes from over taxing my executive functioning skills for too long. 

Add a pandemic, last minute taxes, aging hormones, unfavorable med change and adapting to my son's new schedule getting up earlier Mondays, and my brain's pretty much toast today!

In this episode: 

• My creativity and new thought currently dried up
• Meds are like brain glasses
• Giving grace through the end of school
• I'm opening up some 1:1 spots for coaching and adult learning assessment 
• An exciting collaborating to revamp my website with more info on how that looks this summer!
• Threadless sale 15% off and just added all of Jays Workshop squirrel merch!
• Call recording for Breaking the Stress Cycle available in the Embracing Intensity Community
• Next call on Asyncronous Dev in Gifted Adults with Tiffany Chhuom

Today’s guest had all the markers of traditional success, an Ivy League Education, letters after her name and a well paying career, but she realized she was miserable because she was not being authentic to herself. She broke out of the medical system to help people in a more holistic way. Join us!

Dr. Zarya Rubin is a Harvard-educated physician and certified health and wellness coach who is passionate about helping people heal through functional medicine. She partners with her clients to get to the root cause of symptoms and create a roadmap to wellness.

Show Highlights:

• Why Zarya considers herself a “multipotentialite” who is passionate about many interests and has engaged her entrepreneurial qualities in many varied careers
• How Zarya’s love of opera singing has fared during the time of COVID
• Zarya’s personal brand of intensity means that she has always been “a lot,” but seemed like a “garden variety normal intense person” during her time in NYC
• Why she is intense about political activism and her many passions but has learned to be quieter as she has aged and come into the coaching space, learning to live a slower paced life on the west coast
• How Zarya’s intensity has transformed over the years as she grew up as a shy and quiet child
• How the acceleration from kindergarten to 3rd grade in one year led to Zarya’s inner struggle with darkness and anxiety
• The disastrous outcome of Zarya’s acceleration in school leading her to become a burnt out gifted kid
• Cultural factors that influenced Zarya stemmed from her very Jewish, very intense, and very loud family
• How Zarya had to tone down and tune out for decades to make herself more acceptable to women in friendships and men in relationships, which also meant she dumbed down her education and career
• How Zarya’s intensity never appeared out of control outwardly, but she inwardly dealt with anxiety and PTSD
• How Zarya uses her relentless pursuit of answers and solutions for the good of her clients and her family
• How Zarya’s husband helped her gain a new perspective on social media posts
• What parents of gifted kids really want
• How Zarya harnesses the power of her intensity by embracing, recognizing, acknowledging, and accepting it
• How Zarya’s goal as a coach is working with women in midlife to help them find their spark, joy, and passion again

Resources:

Wild Lilac Wellness

Visit Zarya’s website to get her FREE Guide to Becoming Stress-Proof

Instagram Wild Lilac Wellness

LinkedIn Wild Lilac Wellness

I've observed a lot of themes around integration and disintegration recently so I thought it would be a good time to do a quick overview of Kazmier's Dabrowski's theory of Positive Disintegration.

You can find a more comprehensive overview on ep. 154: On Positive Disintegration with Chris Wells, and my Blog Post “Finding Treasure in Ruins.”

Dabrowski believes that intensity/excitability is a sign of high developmental potential, and neuroses, which we might call neurodiversity, anxiety, existential depression etc., can be positive if they move us towards our higher selves. 

In this episode:

• 3 factors of positive development
• Dynamisms are the inner and outer forces that drive our actions.  
• 5 types of integration and disintegration
• Resources on integration
• 5 Types of overexcitability
• Thoughts on Integration
• Over identification and/or rejection of certain parts of our identity
• What is Dabrowski's Sweater?
• Getting your conflicting parts to communicate with each other.